Category: Poems


Tofu, Turkey & Ho- Ho- Ho’s

Our darlin’ doggie Rosie Colleen wanted the November LaughLaundry devoted solely to herself.
After all, Thanksgiving is her day for chowing down on a delectable dinner of exquisite canine
delights. (she can munch for hours, she can). My little princess decided to compose a poem to
give everyone a wee taste (ahem) of the utter joy she experiences during her fave celebration.
Enjoy…Rosie Colleen says you bettah. 

THANKSGIVING by Rosie Colleen Bender

OK, OK, I’ll admit it –
I’m the Doggie Diva who did it –
It just looked so swell-
And OMG the smell-
I stole the neighbors Thanksgiving turkey –
(Mommy & Daddy know I won’t touch their Tofu sculpted Turkey)-
What else could I do? –
I despise tofu
( I did run home for Mom’s pumpkin pie -oh my!!)
But Doggie Diva that I am-
Come Easter the neighbors bettah have a real HAM!!-
If ONLY Thanksgiving lasted for more than a day-

And that’s all this Doggie Diva is going to say!!

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Hip, Hippity-Hoppin’

A tisket, a tasket
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I want my Easter basket

Filled with nothin’ funny

Just a whole lot ‘o’ spendin’ money

A chocolate rabbit would also be nice

So puleeze make sure you heed my advice

But my nothin’ wasn’t funny

To that grumpy Easter Bunny

So he high-tailed it out of the town

A stand-in bunny cannot be found

 

Then, from far-out, out of nowhere, a hippie hen appears

Rockin’ rainbow curls, some groovy beads & rented rabbit ears

“Why I’ll be happy to bring those Easter treats

I’ll just hip, hippity-hop down your city streets”

A tisket, a tasket

I forgot that rascally rabbit

‘Cause an egg-laying bunny

Just isn’t funny!

 

April has been a great, groovy month. Why there was Earth Day/Mirth Day and a new Easter bonnet for me. (Our Easter weather was just perfect.) We entertained two out-of-town visitors at the awesome Muir Woods National Monument in marvelous Marin County. This peaceful place is like nature’s cathedral. We had a tasty lunch in the hamlet of Muir Beach at a 16th Century Elizabethan English inn (a reproduction, obviously). After a brief visit to the scenic village of Stinson Beach on the beautiful Pacific, and a fog-filled drive across the Golden Gate Bridge, we stopped at a hipster Mission café to sample some hand-crafted desserts created by the pastry chef/owner of one of our visiting friends. All I can say is yum, yum, yum! What a day. I hope April has been great and groovy for all of you.

 

Peace, love, laughter & (colorful) organic, hard-boiled free-range eggs,

Kathleen

 

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Rosie Colleen’s Letter to Santa

Oh, please, please, Dear Santa Paws,

Give me a lip- smacking doggie bone that I’ll adore
& I won’t mess -up Mom & Dad’s home anymore.P1110450

I really need something extra yummy to chew
Mommy won’t let me lick her designer new shoe.

A tiara or two would also be nice
But a princess pet bed would likely suffice.

If you get me a collar, please make it chichi
Diva Dogs always howl when they look at me.

And please bring dad a new wide-screen TV.
We recline together while he cuddles with me.

R-u-u-u-ve you, Rosie
PeeS: Mommy hopes you had a Merry Crimble (John Lennon) & wants you to have a very Hippie New Year!

P1110454

It was just FABruary!!

It was a FABulous month for celebrationvalentine

When frilovity spread across the nation

Punxsutawney Phil, was ready to rock, ready to roll

Pennsylvania winters took a heavy toll

Jumping out of his burrowed hole

Phil boogied-on-down to the SuperBowl

Cause nutthin’ would be finer

Than to see the 49ers

Send the Ravens into mourning

Alas, a victory wasn’t meant to be

But they’ll win next year. Just wait and see!

Mardi Gras merrymakers urged him to stay

He would stay and play until Valentine’s Day!valentine1

But Phil was shy and so far from home

Woodchucks really don’t like to party alone

Along came a snake from the Chinese New Year

Getting chum-chum- chummy, they guzzled root beer

(How much would these two chums chuck

If these two chums could chuck wood?)

The party was soon over, he so missed his home

But forever grateful he had an urge to roam

(Update: When Punxsutawney Phil returned home to PA, there was still time for him to celebrate the birthdays of two former Presidents: Abraham Lincoln, I’m thinkin’ (Didn’t they just give an award to some actor for playing him in a Hollywood movie??) & George “cherry pie, I can tell no lie” Washington. He was even back in time for National Margarita Day!)

Hope that February was FAB for you and your loved ones. Speaking of fab, February 25th would have been the fab, gear, groovy, Beatle George Harrison’s 70th birthday.  He was a bright, shining light who made a lot of female hearts sing…rock ‘n roll, of course.

Peace, love, joy & chocolates (you have some left from Valentine’s Day, no?),

Kathleen

 

Hippie New Year!

Twas the night before New Year’s12newyear 002

In Bill Graham’s house,*

Where the Deadheads had gathered,

Even an old hippie mouse

The fans were in tie-dye with way groovy flair,

Hoping that Bobby, Phil and their Band soon would be there;

Then, right close to Midnight there arose such a clatter,

(No, NOT Mick Jagger or the Mad Hatter! Does it matter?)

Far-out, a smokin’ hot phoenix swooped down through the air,

Hey bird, watch-out for those stage hands over there!!

The Deadheads could see there was nothing to fear,

As Phil & Bobby stood-up, they all began to cheer;

A re-born phoenix flew far, far -outta sight,

“Man, Hippie New Year to All, and to All a FUN Night!”

(Forgive me, Dr. Clement Moore. I’ve “skewered” your work again.)

Wishing y’all the BEST in 2013: More love, more light & much more laughter! And don’t fugettaboud more peace & joy…. for EVERYONE. LOL, Kathleen

* (Bill Graham Civic Auditorium in San Francisco)

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Be My Valentine

Listen up, sweetheart, it’s Valentine’s Day

And, oh baby, baby, I’ve got something to say

It won’t mean a thing if I don’t get that bling!

Give me a glitzy, ritzy, rockin’ ring

I’m just saying bada-bing!, bada –bing!

Be a cutie patootie and make it a ruby

You won’t need red roses, a red ring is fine

Just buy it and you’ll be my valentine

So shop soon, Cupid

‘Cause I know you’re not stupid

HAPPY VALENTINE”S DAY!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hello

My name is Tom
I’m not da bomb

I ain’t no jive turkey
I’m a STAYING ALIVE turkey

Struttin’ my stuff
Not gettin’ stuffed

I joined the TTPP
(Thanksgiving Turkey Protection Program)
Nobodies gonna eat me!

You won’t find me in your grocery store
I’ll be boogying down the disco floor

I’ll be incognito in disguise
Ya won’t see me, no surprise

Here’s my Thanksgiving advice for you:
FUGGETABOUT turkey and eat tofu!!!

Goodbye

 

Happy Thanksgiving, no matter what you’re

eating!!!

The Fourth of July

We’re having a lower-cost celebration

for a down-trodden nation:

The tofu dogs are on the grill

The brewskis are in the fridge to chill

The hall is decked with less stars and stripes

The USA can barely afford to party today/tonight

With Old Glory flying (a peace flag too!)

I’m all jazzed up in red, white and blue

(a real red-hot mama –howzabout you?)

Gonna Yankee Doodle Dandy all ‘round the ‘hood

You know you would if you were looking good

Soon old-fashioned fireworks will brighten the sky

as they always do on the Fourth of July

(unless it’s too foggy or they’ve been canceled due to budget cuts, oh my, oh my!)

Happy (Financial) Independence Day!!  Everyone sing, “For the times they are de-rangin’  “(forgive me Bob Dylan), and remember that laughter is the best medicine –no pill, no bill!

OK, I’ll admit it, I’ll  just confess
my royal reign began with a glitzy dress

Get Your Mardi Gras On!

With beads of purple, gold & green
I made quite an entrance as a Mardi Gras Queen

All glammed up from head to feet
I strutted my stuff down Bourbon Street

Suddenly, I had this primo view ———-
of a Mardi Gras King and his Motley Krewe!

”Throw me something, Mistah!”
“What will it be, Sistah?”
”Fancy a flambeau or some nice King Cake?”

Mon Dieu, His Majesty made a minor mistake
He threw my way an entire King Cake

”Hello, I am a Drama and Mardi Gras Queen”
”With all this cake I’ll need ice cream!”

This King so knew what he had to do
He bid adieux to his Motley Krewe

He gave me a ring————!!!!
Now he’s my King

As King & Queen we knew what to do
we found a new gig with another Krewe

Happy Mardi Gras to everyone!

Chocolates, Chow Fun, & Cupid

Show off your groovy red dreads
Put on some Valentine’s threads

Don those faux rabbit ears
Get down for Chinese New Years

(If you’re Vietnamese, it’s the Year of the Cat –
How about that? )

Eat oodles of noodles & tons of Chow Fun
Enjoy Valentine chocolates laced with rum

With chocolates, Chow Fun, and Cupid so near
You’re  asking for indigestion or an arrow in the rear

So open your hearts wide and feel the joy
“Happy Valentine’s Day and Gung Hay Fat Choy!”